My roommate was inspired by my chaotic repacking tactics and decided to take a picture.
With such a crazy travel itinerary its no wonder that I have found myself positively exhausted mentally and emotionally this week and down with the flu.
I called my Dr. Mom and she looked at my pixilated flushed cheeks and said my fever was about 101 and that the swine flu is only supposed to last for 3 days. She had it last spring the first time it went around so of course she should know. That's my mom for you, getting the flu before the rest of us just so she can tell us that every thing really will be alright when we get it. Mom also lost her button. Just some of life's moments which skype allows you to share.
I don't know if swines get this emotional when they are sick, but I've been a bit nutty the last few days. I know it has a lot to do with knowing that I have 5 weeks left of work, then 3 weeks traveling with Mom and Dad, and then 2 weeks to tie up loose ends, drink some gluwine and hop a plane home to the states. I am sure there is a partridge in a pear tree in there somewhere too.
I am not a very patient person as it turns out. In order to wait for something I want I start to tell myself that I don't want it at all. Apparently I prefer the disappointment over the anticipation. In high school I spent an entire week of volleyball tryouts praying they wouldn't pick me only to leave the gym on the last day higher then a kite with the delight of realizing I had made the team. And I've employed this many times since, sometimes there are just too many feelings to feel them all at once.
Right now I feel torn between loving my experience here and being really tired of dealing with the thousands of little things that come with daily life in a foreign country.
Traveling makes the little things worth it. Traveling is exciting but, once traveling is over, the little struggles are still there. My computer programs are still in German, my furniture is still someone else's, many of my friends are still completely out of touch. And yet, knowing how much I want to go home and see my family and friends and how much easier life will be in English in the states, I still find that I have to tell myself that I won't like it, that people won't be there anymore (and in fact, some might not), and that going home will be even harder than coming to Germany was.
And what's the purpose of all this negative self talk? It's so that I can find the patience to keep myself from throwing my uncompleted German tax forms (yes, in German) out the window and hoping the next plane home.
I have had my adventure, I loved it. But now I just want to sit on the couch with my dad on Saturday morning watching a western with a cinnamon roll in hand and some turkey noodle soup cooking on the stove for lunch. The list would be longer but I have the flu right now and well, this is all that sounds good. Oh and mom's there too, she's just not really watching the western.
I know its not that bad, I mean I only have to wait until November to see my parents. And then traveling in Italy will pass some time. I mean it's Italy! Would you believe mom is totally into the idea of couch surfing? Hilarious! I love it. If anybody knows someone in Italy with a couch you should let me know
...even better if it comes with a western.
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9 comments:
It is Saturday morning, no sourdough cinnamon rolls to munch on, no turkey soup cooking for lunch but there is a western on the TV. A true 'oater' (B movie western for you non-crossword fans) "Gold Raiders" (1957) starring George O'Brien and Sheila Ryan. Who? The supporting cast is more important. Larry, Moe and Curly. The original Three Amigos. All I need to make the morning complete is my daughter beside me laughing heartily at the great dialogue, the well staged gun battle in the tiny saloon with good guys and bad guys ten feet apart and the authentic period costumes. I really just need my daughter beside me. Come November 7th (the 8th in Frankfurt) I will have that. Who needs a western then?
This is such a great post, made even more impressive by the fact that you have the flu (the best I can manage when sick is "ugh, need more Kleenex").
sorry, that last post was mine, didn't mean to leave it anonymously … maybe I am getting sick.
Anyway, really nice read, wonderful summary of living abroad vs. traveling, anticipation, patience, and the mind games we play …
Oh Dad. Why did you have to go and get all sentimental? ;) And to be honest, I always found the three stooges westerns a bit annoying. Where's a good John Wayne when you need one?
Thanks Amber! By they way, they don't have Kleenex here! I've got a nice roll of toilet paper following me around the flat.
What can I say? I wrote it in fever.
Hey Jamie. I am actually relieved reading about someone else going through the same motions and struggles. Maybe when you're back in Oregon you can have a little chat with my husband. He seems to forget that I am not a native American. I always have the feeling of runnig on 120% here in the States rather than about 80% at home. I miss sitting on the couch Sundy afternoon with pastries and a nice cup of coffee with my parents watching some movie (in German). Girl I feel and hear you. I will be back home for 2.5 weeks starting December 18. Flights are booked, I am going. Enjoy the remainig time and struggles in that foreign country. Chin-up :)
Marina, I so owe you an apology. realized with my last travel post that were so positive that I had neglected to really express all the low points during the year in my blog. I was trying to share the excitement with home and never felt really motivated to share the down times. There were plenty of challenges to say the least. Make your husband read my post, and next time you are in Germany look up all the American women in the area who have married German men. You guys could do each other a favor and set your husbands straight in their native tongue. Its really difficult to understand it when you aren't experiencing it and there is nothing visible to prove that the challenges are there.
One more thing marina, I am not a native American either. Only the "Indians" are really considered native Americans in US politically correct terminology. Technically I am Irish, German, well obviously, English. I have however been introduced as a native American by my German coworkers many times. What you are Marina, is definitely a native German. We absolutely have to get Koffee and Cake when I get back on some Sunday afternoon. Its a tradition I have grown quite fond of here.
Ooh, I know an Italian boy in Germany with a couch! And he's really cute. But wrong country, huh?
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